Granny’s Chicken and Dressing

MyMama was my cheerleader as I ran my first 5k this year.

MyMama doesn’t necessarily like to cook. However, growing up in the 80’s, we didn’t have the eat-out option like today. Therefore, Mama did her best to be creative. There will always be the story of the chicken pot pie that no one but I would eat (I was and always will be a Mama pleaser). She finally said, “Baby girl, don’t eat that.” It was thrown out and a neighborhood dog was rumored to have died that night. I didn’t think it was that bad, but Mama was teased forever about it.

Now when it came to the Holidays, everyone looked forward to ONE thing. MyMama’s dressing. It’s a mix-match of two recipes from BettyC with some variations to please the Moore-Tutt masses. I have even made a variation to please MyDaddy. Now that I am a mom with a family, this recipe is requested by my in-laws and daughter as well. Darling Daughter has asked before, “Is this Memaw’s dressing? Yes? Okay, I will eat it.” I made it this year for Thanksgiving and MyDaddy, who doesn’t usually request a repeat at Christmas, specifically asked for me to make him some more of my dressing.

I am posting it here for easy look up when I am traveling here or there or where ever I need to be for the holidays. Make it with LOVE, and it will be a hit with your family too.

Make the cornbread the night before to hurry things along.

Cornbread

Ingredients:
2 cups milk
½ cup butter, melted
2 large eggs
2 ½ cups yellow cornmeal
2 cups all-purpose flour
½ cup sugar
2 tablespoons baking powder
1 teaspoon salt

Heat oven to 400. Grease the bottom and sides of a large skillet with butter (not included in the ingredients list).

I mix all the ingredients in a topper to a cake carrier because it is technically a double batch of cornbread. Beat milk, butter and eggs with mixer. Stir in remaining ingredients until moistened (lumpy). Pour into skillet.

Bake 20-30 minutes until a knife inserted in center comes out clean.

Let cool overnight on a baking rack.

Dressing

Boil 6-8 chicken thighs until cooked through. Let cool and remove the bones and skin.

Ingredients:
Cornbread crumbled up
1 onion and 1 bunch of celery made to liquid in a Veggie Mixer
2 cups butter melted
4 ½ teaspoons salt
5 teaspoons sage
2 ½ teaspoons thyme
1 ½ teaspoon pepper
4 cans of chicken broth

In a large skillet, cook and stir onion, celery and butter for 5 minutes.

Stir in 1/3 of the bread crumbs.

Turn mixture into that same cake cover lid (largest bowl I own). Add remaining ingredients except chicken broth. Toss thoroughly.

Add chicken and broth to mixture.

Turn everything into a very large baking pan sprayed with cooking spray.

Bake at 400 until it is the desired consistency, stirring every 30 minutes (About an hour and a half).

Losing to Win Update: One Year Since Decision

One Year Ago and Now

To say it's been a while since I blogged is an understatement. To help me get back in the groove, I am making a list of possible topics. For today, let's go with an update since my December post about weight loss surgery.

Transformation

In August 2014, my family and I traveled to Mexico on vacation. At 332 pounds, I was devastated and embarrassed to have to request a seatbelt extension from the flight hostess. To further my devastation, my daughter Darby and husband Chad felt they had to make themselves as small as possible so that I would be able to be somewhat more comfortable traveling. Then while we were there, I wanted to parasail but was told by an awkward young man that I weighed too much to complete the expedition safely. The final insult to injury was, while I was able to slowly keep up with our traveling party wherever we went, I spent one day of vacation unable to leave the bed for the pain in my feet, back, and knees.

During this time, stuck in our room, missing out on vacation, I was reminded of a recent doctor’s appointment where my physician frankly told me that if I didn’t “do something” about my weight, then I would be lucky to have 10 more years with my family. We had lost my sister Gayla, 38, a few years earlier, and I could not hurt my parents, my husband and daughter, and my friends by dieing young too. I had seen that devastation and didn’t want to add to their misery. Then I did the math and realized that my daughter would only be in her 20s in the next decade! I would not leave her so early if there was something I could do to prevent it.

This line of thinking led me to also remember that my husband and parents had spent the better part of three years practically begging me to have bariatric surgery. I remembered being offended and insisting that I could do it on my own. I spent those years trying and failing to lose weight, exercise, and eat right. A little more math and I figured out that I had gained 110 pounds in less than a decade. How would I be able to lose what I had gained and 50 more in order to be considered a healthy weight?

The night after we returned from our vacation, I took a deep, shaky breath and told the love of my life, “I don’t want to die.” I asked if his offer to support me and care for me through bariatric surgery was still good. I had spent the day reading up on it and explained that our entire life would change. What we ate, what we did, everything would be altered.

This man, who will have my heart forever, embraced me and my decision, reminding that my body was not like a “normal” person. He said it “betrayed” me at every turn. I had sleep apnea and had to sleep with a machine to keep me breathing. I also suffered with high blood pressure, migraines, hypothyroidism, and high cholesterol. In the previous five years, I had been hospitalized three times for suspected strokes because my blood pressure was so high and migraines so tormenting.

From this conversation, there were the ones we had with my parents and our daughter. All were on board and ready to make this decision a reality. For my first information meeting, my husband had to travel for work so our daughter insisted that she would go with me. She said, “I want to know that this is the right thing for us to do.” The fact that she was involved and she said “us” sealed it for me. This is what I would do.

Dr. Roshek of The NicholsonClinic led the information meeting, explaining all options available. He also explained how most people gain weight back on regular diets because of a hormone ghrelin that made you think you were hungry, even if you weren’t. Dr. Roshek explained the statistics and surgery options so well that my daughter was able to enlighten her father about what to expect, even using air quotes when she explained the difference between the LapBand and the Gastric Sleeve—“Sure the Lap is ‘reversible’ in that the device can be removed but your stomach stays in that shape.” We chose the gastric sleeve option.

From this point we proceeded with Dr. Carlton and an exploratory EGD, which showed I also suffered with a hiatal hernia on top of my other ailments. I thought, “How have I survived this long much less the next 10 years?” Once we had a surgery date with Dr. Nicholson, I began to share the news with those closest to me. There were mixed reactions, but the people who mattered the most said, “If this is what YOU want, then you have my support.”

After surgery in December, there was time for healing. However, I figured out pretty quickly that walking made recovery so much better. I started walking. And walking. And walking. That got boring so I took it to the gym…a gym for which I had been paying for years yet using only sparingly, Lifetime Fitness. I found my trainer Aaron Frisvold and, one month after surgery, I joined Lifetime’s 90-day challenge at the encouragement of Aaron. I was elated the first time I ran a mile and ecstatic the first time I ran two miles. Aaron continues to motivate me to hit those Firsts. You could have knocked me over with a feather when I found out that I had won the 90-day challenge!

Today we began the next 90-day challenge at Lifetime. I have every intention of winning this too. However, I feel like I am already a winner. I took on this life-long challenge and am a whole new person for it. In April, it was discovered that I no longer need blood pressure medicine. Shortly after that, I didn’t need the sleep apnea machine when I slept. By the end of May, I had hit the 100-pounds-lost milestone. The weight loss has slowed significantly, and I have turned to looking at my muscle definition and body mass index for the progress. Aaron gets excited about the number of calories the fancy scale says I burn because of my lean muscle.

In the beginning, I sported a 53 BMI. Today that was down to 35 BMI. To date, I have lost 120 pounds and have 42 left till I hit my personal goal weight of 170 pounds, a weight I could identify with being happy with my body. Also, at my last doctor’s visit, my thyroid looked good and my cholesterol was “normal.”

The most amazing thing that I have gained in all of this is self-confidence. For the first time in my life, I am proud of me, inside and out. I love the life that is blooming all around me. Chad and I greet each day for the adventure that is a life without the burden of being overweight and unhealthy. We have even adopted a weekly date night where he joins me at the gym. He has also discovered that he is a rock star at cooking healthy.

My gratitude overflows for everyone involved. To The Nicholson Clinic (Dr. Nicholson, Dr. Roshek, Dr. Carlton, Sandy, and Melody), thank you for your expertise and continued support. To Aaron and all the trainers at Lifetime, thank you for all of the high-fives and at-a-girls that keep me running and pumping that iron. To my friend Brandy, thank you for being my workout buddy and cheerleader. To my friend Sarah, thank you for all the loaner clothes and the encouragement. To my parents, thank you for the emotional and financial support to make this a reality. Thank you for reminding me that I am always your “pretty baby.” To my daughter Darby, thank you for reminding me that I have to love me as much as I love anyone else if not more. Thank you for demanding that I stick up for myself. To my darling Chad, thank you for making me admit that I needed help from everyone, for learning to cook healthy, and for being my biggest fan.

It's Closure If By Closure I Get to Leave a Crack in that Door Just in Case...

For more than a year, I have yearned to dream about my sister Gayla. I practice what I will say as I fall asleep each night. I beg and plead with God to let me dream of her. I have even had the idea to plan out my dream where she and I can be private eyes who solve crimes and fix situations like a cross between Rizolli and Isles and Quantum Leap. Once or twice it has happened (a dream, not the cheesy drama show dream), and yet it doesn't fulfill the need I feel. Something seems to distract me from telling Sister that I love her and miss her in each dream. [Don't judge me...I am not crazy...I am profoundly sad.]

My little family visited myMama and myDaddy this last weekend for Daddy's birthday. I seem to gain so much peace just from being in their home and being surrounded by family. Without going into too much detail, there was also some relief with my parents letting us know that the final details of the business of dieing is coming to an end. It will never bring my beloved sister back, but we can really in earnest start rebuilding our lives. As my Daddy said, "It's just the beginning of the next chapter."

On Saturday night, I fell into a deep slumber almost instantly because we had spent the day yard working, playing with the nephews and cooking a big birthday dinner. I can't remember doing my nightly ritual of begging and pleading because I fell asleep almost instantly.

I guess that is the key; don't ask and you will receive. I dreamed that I was sitting fully clothed in my parents' guest bathroom tub. As I was sitting there, the hand towel across the room started to float away as if being carried by some unseen person. I jumped up and chased the apparition into the next room yelling for it to please wait. When I caught up with the escaping hand towel, I threw my arms around the empty space and actually felt like I had caught something. Immediately, I began screaming at my caught ghost, "Please go find my sister Gayla and tell her that I love her and miss her so much!!! PLEASE DO THIS FOR ME!"

I felt the apparition enfold me in its embrace, and I heard as if she was right there talking into my ear, Gayla said, "I love you, my love. I love you too...so much." And POOF...I woke up. I would like to say I felt a profound peace, but all I felt was a stabbing migraine. It wasn't until I was telling Hubby Dearest about the dream later on that I realized I had felt much better all day even with the headache...emotionally better. So tonight, I go to sleep and don't ask for anything. I just thank Him for all I have.

Family Night: New Puppy Love



I know I said just a week ago that I wanted to wait a

while to mourn the loss of our Hope before we rushed

 out to get another puppy. However, I am a pushover for

 Hubby Dearest and Darling Daughter and just could

not tell them no. They have been so broken hearted...

I have too. This is Angel...full name Angel of Hope.

I look at her and see the baby Hope was just three

 years ago. I look at Angel's belly and am relieved

 there is no umbilical hernia. I hold her to my ear and hear

 only the strong thumping of a good heart instead of the

rubbery wet slugging of congenital heart disease.

We thought about naming her Do-Over...we will see.

Family Night--Movie and Hot Dogs

Thursdays are family nights because Darling Daughter's school has deemed Fridays as Nothing Due Fridays. In the beginning, we were all gung ho about doing things big and special on Thursdays. Now we tend to just relax and be lazy together...I am okay with that since we are still together. We made it simple dinner night too with off the grill hot dogs with chili and cheese.


However, yesterday was a pretty rough day for me so I tried to cheer myself with window shopping. I ended up renting a couple of Red Box movies instead. I say the dog Snowy in The Adventures of Tin Tin make that movie a fun family adventure...two thumbs up! Everyone should own this one (see the link below to help me with my Amazon addiction). Also as much as I love me some Justin, the movie In Time was "meh!" in the words of Darling Daughter, and I have to agree even if I don't know what it means. It was worth a $1 rental, though I wouldn't pay any more than that or the $3.99 digital download from Amazon if you want to save time and gas money of having to remember to return it (DANG IT! I FORGOT TO GRAB THEM THIS MORNING!).


I still whole-heartedly recommend Super 8 as a family adventure that you talk about for a long time. I need to own that one come to think of it (Read my review!) Don't mistake it for the uber gory 8mm with Robin Williams as a serial killer (eek!)--not family friendly or kiddie appropriate (notice no link...). Y'all have a good weekend!

GUEST BLOGGER--S is for Solace

MyMama, OURGayla, Sister/Daughter-inLawDana,
JamesIII and me, March 2010

A few weeks ago, my beloved mother guest blogged "H is for Happy Home" to help me with the Blogging from A to Z Challenge. This is the second piece I told you that she wrote for me at that time. Is it possible to burst with love and pride? Each tear I shed while fixing this up for her, was filled with so much love and so much pride. Welcome back to "Aunt J-Me Says So"....my hero, MYMAMA:

When my beautiful talented daughter (that's me!) made the offer of guest blogging I looked at her list of available letters and jotted down "happiness", "home", "religion", and "William". What I write about each of these my beautiful talented daughter (that's me again!) knows she may edit change or ignore and no offense will be taken (I WOULD NEVER MESS WITH GREATNESS...okay, I'll stop now). I have complete trust that my beautiful talented ex-English teacher of a daughter (sorry, one more time...that's me!) knows the limits of my education and would not want me embarrassed by said limits (I KNOW NOT OF WHAT SHE WRITES).   So having covered "happiness" and "home", I have moved on to where my solace has come from. In times of grief, solace comes in many forms. I parted ways with organized religion many years ago. However, when we lost our oldest child a year ago, religion showed its purest and most saving grace to me. A group of people whose only connection to my husband and me was that our son and daughter-in-law were members of their church, opened their doors for our dear Gayla's memorial service. Dennis and Debbie are not just a minister and his wife. They are people who came into a stranger's home, tried to give comfort and, in so doing, renewed for me the belief in the goodness of people in general. On the day of that memorial service, my daughter-in-law's aunts served food to a flood of people who came for the BBQ that our daughter-in-law's parents had furnished. They felt our pain and our children's pain and gave the solace of their service. We will never be able to express to these ladies and the church's ladies group, who furnished desserts, how they personified the love of their fellow man to a heartbroken family. Will-I-Am and JamesIII, March 2012 The solace that is William has come over the course of the first year of his life. The night he was born was three days after his Aunt Gayla's death. I spent part of that evening trimming 100 photographs of Gayla to be stuck to her memorial programs. William's great aunts eventually helped me finish that project. His very pregnant mother had helped me write the obituary and order the photographs. The solace of having such a wonderful woman as a daughter-in-law should not be left out of this story. She and my beloved son have allowed us to keep William and his big brother JamesIII for a couple of days a week. JamesIII was born to unadulterated joy more than three years ago. Happiness followed him into this world, and the night he was born, my only tears were joyful tears. There is a movie of me grabbing my son and crying those tears of joy for all the world to see. Also, there, just at the edge of that movie, is his dear Aunt Gayla, watching in the crowd.  DarlingDaughter and HerMemaw March 2012 As much joy as came with William, there also came sorrow that his Aunt Gayla would not be there to see him born. Now at one year of age, William is the one that brings my husband's smile. He may become the family dare devil. He cannot be convinced that just because he CAN climb up on low furniture that he will not be immune from falling off said furniture.  Solace comes from my family. Our grandchildren range from one year old to fifteen years old. That is quite a spread, but where the two littlest give solace through their innocence of the pain, Darby was not spared that pain. Her solace comes in shared acceptance of what cannot be changed. She has seen me distressed and stepped a little closer to give her solace. She may not even be aware she does it, but I am.

Spring Break 2011 Broke My Heart

Spring Break Cruise 2005, Gayla and Me, we might
have gotten too much sun that first day.

Growing up, Spring Break was the be-all-end-all of vacations to me. There was no holiday smack dab in the middle of it for which to buy gifts, make big meals or have to go and do anything. Because my parents had to work every day, we three were free to sleep late, do nothing and just chill. The weather is usually nice. There was never anything pressing that had to be done. When I was a teacher, I loved to take this week to go on a cruise or do something fun with my family. Now that I am a parent, I take this week to be with my Hubby Dearest and Darling Daughter. We've made it a regular excursion to spend the week with my family in east Texas.

Sister on her Mexican solo vacation last year just a couple
of weeks before she was taken from us.

Last year ended my love of Spring Break. For the rest of my life, it will mark the week of horror that I lost my beautiful best friend and sister, Gayla Leeanne Moore, forever 38. A distracted driver was doing something other than driving his tractor trailer and his inattentiveness stole away one of my greatest joys.

How I will always remember myGayla

When the weather is sunny but the air is still cool, I will work in the yard and remember that day of planting hydrangeas and calladiums. When the moon is super full, I will remember watching it rise the night before we got the news and playing Words with Friends with my sister, me out on the back porch at our parents' and she in her house in Rhome. When I play UNO on my phone, I will remember Gayla, James and I huddled up in his room, playing against each other on our respective phones. Someday, when I think I hear Gayla's voice in those groggy moments before I fully wake, I won't cry when reality hits me.  

NOTE: I wrote a story idea down a few months back and have been fleshing out a possible novel. Then the new TV show AWAKE comes out and it's too eerily similar. Do I still write my novel?

Homophobic Bullying Comes Home

Hubby Dearest and I question ourselves as parents on most days, and we all know I probably have the most anxiety about it. However, in one area in particular, we are proud of our efforts. Our Darling Daughter is NOT a bully. She knows that there is a zero tolerance for meanness in our house.

My zero tolerance rule got bent yesterday, though, because my teary-eyed beauty begged me NOT to call the parents of the two teens who were harassing my girl in class. Instead, I had to resort to violently cleaning our living room to assuage my anger and frustration. I did however take breaks long enough to come tell DD about my latest witty comeback for her to use "next time." It was tough; how do you come back from a snide comment and your wit does not stoop to their insulting level? What can you say to a bully that maintains your cool points and yet puts them in their place without invoking violence or being disrespectful to others?

This past weekend, Darling Daughter finally got her year-long wish; I took her to get her hair cut and she could have it as short as she wanted. Having had short hair for almost 20 years, I know the upkeep, the upsides and the downsides to having a short do. We had discussed it till it was glue, so to speak. DD did it, and I was both completely thrilled it turned out so flippin' cute and completely jealous that she was instantly the cutest short pixie cut I had ever seen. She's a classic beauty so I should have known she would pull off the pixie perfectly.

Nevertheless, the hair was definitely the main attraction for the weekend. Complements were pouring in from friends, family and, to her father and my dismay, handfuls of male teens. I have definitely stepped up my search for the perfect metal baseball bat :-). As DD has told me that as the mama my opinion doesn't matter a hill of beans, the big test,  would be DD's first day back at school.

I was shopping for cleaning supplies for the big spring clean when hubby dearest sent me the text that the school had called. DD had left her science class crying because a boy asked her if she was "going lezbo on us." ANGER bubbled up so fast in me that I might have let one of the big dirty words fly. I called DD to check on her. After telling her that the school had called, she said, "I did NOT leave class crying; I wouldn't cry over C0##!%. He's just mean!" Whew! I told her I would be home soon and that I was proud of her. DD's teacher seemed relieved as well when I told her that DD was okay and not weeping in the least. It turns out there was a girl whom DD had thought was her friend who started it with comments about CANCER and HOMOSEXUALITY. The boy, whom had been a friend as well, joined in too. Haters gotta hate, I guess. DD did tell me that they were the only negatives in a multitude of positive support from classmates. She only cried when she was afraid I would cause problems by contacting the kids' parents.

Like I said earlier, I spent the whole evening and most of last night thinking. Probably over-thinking. In addition to witty comebacks like, "No, but I might be able introduce you to someone if you're interested" and "Even if I were, I wouldn't be interested in you because you are a shallow bigot," I really thought about homophobia among teens. We have always told DD that whoever she falls in love with, it needs to be a connection of the mind and heart; gender does not matter as long as she is loved and respected.

I wasn't surprised by the research I found on the subject of homophobic bullying but was no less appalled. According to a 2009 study by the Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network, "Texas schools were not safe for many lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) secondary school students. In addition, many LGBT students in Texas did not have access to important school resources, such as Gay-Straight Alliances, and were not protected by comprehensive bullying/harassment school policies." 

The reports also listed the following disturbing facts in its findings:

• Nearly all students heard "gay" used in a negative way ("that’s so gay") and about 9 in 10 heard other homophobic remarks ("fag" or "dyke") regularly at school.
• The majority of students experienced verbal harassment (called names or threatened): just under 9 in 10 because of their sexual orientation and nearly 2 in 3 because of the way they expressed their gender.
• Many also experienced physical harassment and physical assault: about 3 in 10 were physically harassed (pushed or shoved) because of the way they expressed their gender and nearly 1 in 4 was physically assaulted (punched, kicked or injured with a weapon) because of their sexual orientation.

A majority of students never reported this abuse either. In fact DD probably would not have told on her fellow classmates. Two brave girls who witnessed her harassment DID report it though, and for them I am thankful. Because of their concern, the teacher was able to address it, I was able to talk to our darling girl child, and we are all now very aware of some on-going teen ugliness in that class.

I have agreed not to get involved at this time because DD wants to handle this her way. She forgives and moves on much more easily than I do. I learn from her every day in every way about dignity and grace. If there is a "next time," I am in, it is on, gang way and all that other pump-you-up crap. I have a theme song playing in my head and Rockey doesn't hold a candle to this mama bear on a rampage!
 

Welcome Back Write on Wednesdays! Agent Chin-Wag

InkPaperPen brought us back last week, but something...I don't remember...kept me at bay. Here's this week's prompt (oops! I went over time). Ding!

The Write on Wednesday Spark: Agent Chin- WagPay attention to the conversations around you: at the dinner table, in the supermarket, while DVD Returning, wherever. You are looking for one line, one tiny sentence of dialogue. You may find your words lurking in a D&M or perhaps you will choose a phrase from everyday chatter. Write down your line. Use it to inspire your Write on Wednesday post. Keep your post on the short side: up to 500 words OR a 5 minute stream of consciousness exercise. Link your finished piece to the list and begin popping by the other links. Oh and enjoy.
There are certain phrases that our little family of three has adopted either from favorite TV shows or commercials or just the everyday crazy sass (TWSS). We have "milk-a-what" from a SuperBowl commercial two or three years ago. "I appreciate ya'" is a Papa James original."I love you, Moore" and "ROGUE NUT!" (or fill in NUT with anything escaping across the counter) matriculate from our dear, sweet Aunt Gayla.  This last one is one that always catches me tickled, especially when Darling Daughter dishes it out. Here's how this little ditty came to be.


What would be the odds that I could find the
photo of that day...taken immediately after she
spoke those fateful words..."ROGUE NUT!"

"ROGUE NUT!" Gayla hollered as she maneuvered the serving bar in her fancy shoes to catch the cashew that was hurling itself toward the other side of the bar to dive to its demise on the floor below. In Sister's mind a wasted cashew was sacrilege. She and Darling Daughter, Gayla's niece favorita, giggled and exchanged knowing looks.

DD had heard the stories of fallen hot dogs at the horse races that were still consumed (10 second rule and a little bud light) and last dinner rolls licked on every side by multiple claimants only to be devoured still. Although my germa-phobe self could never stomach such tomfoolery, I think we as the children of our there-are-starving-children-in-China parents subconsciously believed their threat and made sure we didn't waste a bite. I also think that our immune systems are so strong because we never get ooged out by much.

That scene was at a wedding shower a year before we lost Sister. The night she died, Hubby Dearest had bought a cookie for me from a Sleazy Mart on our way home in hopes that I would eat something. Unfortunately, HD fumbled the cookie, and it fell to the asphalt. Without thinking, Chad lunged for the cookie, yelling, "ROGUE COOKIE!" He gasped at his faux pas and immediately worried I might break down finally. I just giggled through my tears, picked up the cookie and popped it in my mouth in memory of my lost sister. I then immediately spat it out because there was something wet on it. Gag!

Despite my one failed attempt on the wild side, the phrase "Rogue ______!" seems to make its way into our lives every day. Yesterday it was rogue french fry (let the dogs have it). The day before it was rogue crochet needle (watch out...they stab). We have had escaping food, fish (live trying to free themselves from the boat), dishes, and one nephew (I caught him before he rolled to the floor thank goodness). Sometimes I "accidentally" drop a cashew so I can say, "Rogue nut!" and grab it up before it gets gross.

Thursdays are Happiness Reports: Week 2 of January

I have to say that living out of an organized closet has had so many positive effects on my happiness. It's like a stream of consciousness with actions and reactions.

1. I like the few outfits I kept and put together so I feel more confident after getting ready in the morning, which is super fast now.

2. Because I am super fast getting ready, I am eating breakfast at home or at the office and avoiding the drive through.

3. No drive through gives me more money to buy bouji bouji yarn for crocheting, which makes me feel classy.

4. I feel classy, which also leads to me putting more effort into my health and appearance.

5. Because I am feeling better physically, I don't just become a lump on the couch when I get home, and chores are getting done without struggle. I am also making dinner, which keeps us out of the drive through in the evenings, which gives us more money as a family!

6. Keeping the house tidy, cooking dinner and saving money gives me peace of mind so I can rest at night.

7. Resting at night makes me pop out of bed in the morning.

8. Because I get up feeling rested, I am working to keep the organization in my closet.

Steps I worked in this week that I got from Gretchen Rubin's Happiness Project: finding a chore that takes about ten minutes and knocking it out right before I go to bed...great peace of mind and sense of accomplishment.

Thank you for continuing to support this little bit of crazy each day! Visit my blog each Thursday to see how My Happiness Project is going! Here's the plan by month so far:

• January--BOOST ENERGY
• February--REMEMBER LOVE MARRIAGE
• March--AIM HIGHER WORK
• April--LIGHTEN UP PARENTHOOD
• May--BE SERIOUS ABOUT PLAY
• June--MAKE TIME FOR FRIENDS
• July--BUY SOME HAPPINESS
• August--CONTEMPLATE THE HEAVENS
• September--PURSUE A PASSION
• October--PAY ATTENTION
• November--KEEP A CONTENTED HEART
• December--BOOT CAMP PERFECT HAPPINESS 

These are the Friends You Grow Old With...

Way back last spring, as I sat in the dark theater laughing hysterically at the comedic genius of Bridesmaids, one of my dear friends leaned over to whisper, "We are SO doing this for Sosie's wedding!" By "this" he was referring to the speech scene where Kristen Wiig and Rose Byrne's characters are trying to one-up each other's heart-felt bridesmaid speech during the engagement party.

After months of enthusiastically talking about it, it was three days before the big day when Mikey texted me, "You should write all of our speeches!" First draft went out later that day and got not a peep of response. When I saw M and J later that night, I asked if I was really not that funny. J told me that although we would get it, it would lose the rest of the audience and possibly offend most of them. Draft two was sketched together in a brainstorm, and we were set. Three hours later, the maid of honor and minor aged bridesmaid wanted in...REWRITE. I was getting excited writing for everyone and scripting in not only the words but the drama to unfold.

The morning of the wedding, I sat in my make-up, fancy hair and sweat suit, tapping a pen against my teeth trying to picture the scene. This is what I wrote:

Maid of Honor, Sister A delivers real, heart-felt speech.

Aunt J-Me: Some of my favorite memories with Sosie are those created on our many vacations. In 2004, we cruised to Mexico and were all intrigued by all of Sosie's talk of her new man, Flanagan, or as I call him, Flan-the-Man! I learned this for the two of you: Ustedes son una parte de mi, una parte que yo nunca podria vivir sin. Y espero y rezo para que nunca tenga que hacer lo."

Sister A: Thank you, "Consuela." We always felt left our when our family would speak in Spanish too. What J-Me said was, "You are a part of me, a part I could never live without. And I hope and pray that I never have to." Next we have J who wants to say something.

J-Man: Sosie, Flanagan, I didn't learn a second language for you but wanted you to know what is in my heart (long pause)...truly (long pause)...deeply (long pause, intent stare)...so far buried down (long pause, deeper meaningful stare)...deep...in...my...soul...(deep breath) I love you.

Minor Sister A and Sister A struggle with mic and big sister backs down: IT'S MY TURN! <recover, smile sweetly> Sosie, Fangman...I believe we have such a connection that y'all know all I am feeling just with a look...<stare at them intently and awkwardly for as long as you can hold it without laughing>.

Sister A : SCARY! Thank you so much for that <smile sweetly>. Well, let's wrap this up with M-Man, who has written a poem for this occasion.

M-Man: Because I am such a poet...Sosie, Flanagan, this is for you..."I know this pain, why do you lock yourself up in these chains, No one can change your life except for you..."

Sister A : Uh...you know that's a song, M...not a poem that you wrote. DJ? Hit it!

Entire bridal part sings along to Wilson Phillips Hold On and attempts to get the rest of the guests to join us singing and dancing.

We didn't write a part in for the kiddos to distract but they added their own brand of entertainment to it. GREATEST BRIDESMAID SPEECHES EVER!

Video courtesy of Darling Daughter...

Happy New Year...

Darling Daughter, Aunt J-ME, and Hubby Dearest, November 2011
Photo by: Christina Calderon @ Christina Kay Photography

From my little gang to yours, Happy New Year. Thank you for your support this year in this endeavor to write through my grief. This blog and you have helped ease the pain in my heart a little bit each day. My little online journaling has given my family an entry into my mind and feelings that I could not have provided in any other way. Stay tuned for me to get back into my regular programming like, Try Something New Tuesdays, My Happiness Project, Family Night and Write on Wednesdays! Be safe, be loved, and be yourself beautifully. As I used to tell my students before each break, "Don't do anything that would make me cry and don't get dead. I expect to see you all back here when break is over. Chocolate Milk!"

These are a few of my favorite things...

Christmas carols on the radio, especially Silent Night, and singing along like a pro
Warm cozy blankets and the smell of fresh snow, as long as there's no place to go
Praying continuously over the recipient when making a home-made pressies
          and imagining all the life they will witness
These are a few of my favorite things

Fun colored nail polish and crisp ironed men's shirts
Wind chimes in a breeze and rain on the roof and coffee with flavored creamers
The look of pure joy that family and friends have when receiving
          surprises they weren't expecting
These are a few of my favorite things

Real smiles on my loves' faces with gafaws of their laughter
JibJab videos I made last year with my family
Staring at this beautiful picture of my darling daughter and dreaming of her future
These are a few of my favorite things

When my heart breaks
When my tears fall
When I'm feeling sad/bad/mad
I simply remember my favorite things
And then I don't feel so sad/bad/mad

Thursdays are Happiness Reports: Focus on Family and Friends

For my happiness project this month, I am focusing on my family and friends. For this first week, I am making it a point to have meaningful conversations with all those I love. Mama and I chit-chatted on the phone for more than an hour last night, and it just made my heart so much lighter. Sosie and I visited this morning and, even with the tears, it brightened my day to laugh with her and hear her voice. Annie-bo-bannie and I even knocked a visit out yesterday morning while she drove with her hands free thingy. In a time of technology like we live in now, we should be the most communicative people to have ever walked this earth. My phone bill will probably be outrageous this month, but it is making me happy to "reach out and touch someone" (that little ditty definitely shows my age!).

Thank you for continuing to support this little bit of crazy each day! Visit my blog each Thursday to see how My Happiness Project is going! Here's the plan by month so far:

• August--being organized
• September--eating healthier
• October--having energy (hang my head in shame at the failure)
• November--being thankful (SUCCESS!)
• December--focusing on family and friends
• January--focusing on marriage
• February--focusing on parenting
• March--being creative
• April--being helpful
• May--working smarter
• June--being adventurous
• July--loving Jaimee 

Write on Wednesdays: Nine Ladies Dancing

It's been a month, but I am back Gill! INKPAPERPEN gives us an awesome prompt for this week! I am a little shocked at what came out when I started writing. I pray my mother and father will forgive me.

Write On Wednesdays Exercise 27 - Mel suggested that we look at the "12 Days of Christmas" poem/song and select one of the days/lines for our writing inspiration. So, whether a Partridge in a Pear Tree or Five Golden Rings, write your line at the top of your page, set your timer for 5 minutes and write the first words that come into your head.

"Nine Ladies Dancing" refers to the nine beatitudes

Matthew 5: 3-12--"Blessed are the poor in spirit: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted. Blessed are the meek: for they shall inherit the earth. Blessed are they that hunger and thirst after righteousness: for they shall be filled. Blessed are the merciful: for they shall obtain mercy. Blessed are the pure in heart: for they shall see God. Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called sons of God. Blessed are they that have been persecuted for righteousness' sake: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are ye when [men] shall reproach you, and persecute you, and say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake. Rejoice, and be exceeding glad: for great is your reward in heaven: for so persecuted they the prophets that were before you."

I first learned of the beatitudes from a group of women at Northwest Bible Church. I had just moved to Dallas after graduation and a friend from Denton Bible Church had given my name to the ladies in hopes that I would be able to find a new church home in Dallas. They called me up on a Monday and left a voice mail that they were meeting on Tuesday and would I join them. The first lesson was the beatitudes. It's interesting that that group of young women numbered nine as well. 

This is one of the rare times in my life that still gives me chills to remember. That Monday night, I had given up and was contemplating letting my chronic depression win finally. I had made arrangements via letters to my family and even packed my belongings to make it easier to dispose of my life once it was over. However, the red blinking light of my answering machine caught my attention and brought me back from that non-returnable brink of disaster.

The young woman's voice still plays in my head even today, "Hi, Jaimee, this is Elizabeth. You don't know me, but I got your name from Amy at DBC. Jaimee, this is going to sound strange, but I have an almost panicked feeling that you need to call me back as soon as you hear this message. Please call me. Let's get together. We want you to join our young ladies studies. Please, please, please call me, Jaimee."

I hit my knees and cried like my soul needed to wash away my previous selfishness. After a few hours, I calmed enough to call Elizabeth back. We made plans for the next evening. I don't think I ever told her that she saved me from myself that night. I just say a prayer of thanks each night for a young woman who doesn't even know that she changed the world that night in 1997.

If you've ever thought of suicide, please reach out and ask for help. Life is too precious to give up before you get to see all the beautiful times. I am blessed that someone acted on the weight that He placed on their heart to reach out. I would have missed out on true love, being a mom, being a teacher, seeing my nephews be born, meeting and being a part of my group of friends, and helping my family survive this last year. There is so much that we don't see that is worth living for when depression tells us its ugly untruths. If you suffer, please get help.

In the U.S., call 1-800-273-8255

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline

Happiness Report: Thankful for November and Ready for December!

Wow! November was my most successful part of my Happiness Project yet! It truly made me abundantly happy to write all those letters and show my love and appreciation for everyone. BTW, I was also the goofy kiddo at birthday parties who was more excited to give her present to the birthday girl or boy. It's a sickness...don't judge.

December is all about focusing on friends and family. I have big plans to make a point to call my friends and family every week. Also, I am looking into space to have a gift closet somewhere in our house where I can have a little fun to give away when I visit or get visited. I am not quite sure why I wrote as a note, "Don't gossip or criticize." That doesn't sound like me. Another fun item on my to-dos is to start a monthly game night. Beginning tomorrow, Sosie, Val-Gal and I are starting a knitting/crochet club. I am totally jazzed about it! Most importantly, this month I am going to show up and be present.

Items I am on the look out for stocking stuffers this week:

1. $5 gift cards (Starbucks, McDonalds, Amazon, Borders etc)
2. A favorite candy
3. Personalized stationary
4. Fun socks
5. Nail polishes
6. Gel or Sharpie Pens
7. Chapstick or lip gloss
8. Hair bands or other accessories
9. Crayons
10. Body wash or lotions
11. Stickers
12. Lottery tickets
13. Bookmarks
14. Fishing lures
15. Small photo frames
16. Personalized water bottle
17. Travel sized games (connect four, uno, etc)
18. Small sketchbook
19. Fridge magnets
20. Crafting fun
21. PJ's (pajama elf delivers on Christmas Eve)
22. Cute umbrella
23. Bubbles
24. Bath toys
25. Coloring book    

30 Days of Thankful: Day 1--Hubby Dearest

Welcome to November Readers Extraordinaries! My normally scheduled blogging is interrupted (or worked in where possible) in order to bring you 30 DAYS OF THANKFUL!

This is the month for being thankful! Thanksgiving is in 24 days and consists of only 24 hours. That's 24 hours to travel, cook a huge meal or two or three, visit with the family and friends, clean the kitchen, store the left overs, watch the games, take a nap, plan the next day's shopping adventure (NOT!) etc. etc. It seems like the point is lost so I invite everyone to take this challenge with me. Make a list of people for whom you are thankful. I am focusing on people, but if you can work in things, do share! Assign each person a day. Then on their day, create something (love letter, craft, photo collage, blog, etc.) in their honor and to show them you are thankful for them. Let's change the world this month by giving out our love and appreciation every day in every way!

Dearest Chad,

Today I thank you for being the love of my life and best friend. I thank God for His paths that He provided for us to find our ways in and out and in and out and back in to each others' lives. Ours is a connection of hearts and minds that can never be severed. With you, I have found my happily ever after.

Thank you, baby, for always taking care of our darling girl and me. Thank you for making sure we have a roof over our heads, clothes on our backs and food in our tummies. Thank you for being our rock and our foundation. Thank you for the foot rubs and late night runs to the pharmacy. Thank you for the laughter and the joy. Thank you for making sure our family is first in every way.

My dearest husband, thank you for being you. We love your passion and dedication. Your obsession with fishing is admirable and "pick-able" all at the same time, providing both pride and amusement. From sinking the boat to getting stranded on that little creek, you have made sure almost every outing with you is an adventure. I look forward to the adventures that are still in store for us.

I love you, Chad.

Jaimee

Happy Halloween 2011!

Some thought we didn't dress
up last year...hmmm...what are
they trying to say???

When my parents were just starting out with our little family of five, they were like any other fledgling family financially. I often laugh with my husband that both of our favorite evening meals as children were when we had breakfast for dinner. Neither of us understood until we were in our parents' shoes that those favorite meals were the last ones right before pay day and grocery shopping, making do with what was in the kitchen. Some of my favorite memories are from that time when my Mama and Daddy used their ingenuity to provide for us with what they had. They taught us that happiness is not in the "things" you can get but in looking more closely at what you have. We were richly blessed with lots of love and wanted for nothing.

Our Vampire Old Lady

One of the things my parents did economically was dress us up for Halloween. I have seen 8 mm film with Sister and me wearing clown make up on our faces (probably Mama's make up used creatively) and our hair teased and ratted into the round clown hair. We are laughing and rolling around on the floor with new-born Bubba having the best time. The only down side that year was that our neighbor on the corner made cupcakes for trick-or-treaters, and we weren't allowed to eat them because there was a razor blade scare, which was the weirdest thing to me. Who was dumb enough to think razor blades were treats? Seemed like a dirty trick to me.

Darby's date last year wasn't
nearly as scary as she was!

Another memory I have is the first year Sister and I received our first vinyl dress and plastic mask costumes with the little nose and eye holes. I think they both were Barbies although I remember comparing the mask to my doll and thinking the little nose holes made her look more like Miss Piggy. We had grilled cheese sandwiches that night before our adventure out, and Gayla thought she would eat her dinner while wearing her mask. Mama or Daddy made her remove it at sometime in the meal and somehow our masks got mixed up. All I could focus on as we walked from door to door later on is, "Why does my mask smell like cheese?" Combine that with the design's structure making you create a sauna for your face, and I was never really keen on having masks again.

One of the only other Halloween's I remember is when we were all three in Elementary, and our school hosted a carnival set up throughout our classrooms. We purchased tickets to exchange for games that provided plastic trinkets or handfuls of candy to its participants. I spent all of my tickets walking around the numbered squares placed on the floor of Ms. Young's classroom in hopes of winning a cake for my Daddy. I won a huge German Chocolate confection on my first trip around and just thought that was the bees knees. I continued to play and walk each go around. After I won my second cake, I was politely asked to go find another game. I wasn't hurt because My Daddy bragged on me that night for winning him his favorite cake. In later years, I would try to win him more cake but never was triumphant.

She's talented!

Now that I am grown, I sit in amazement at Hubby Dearest's and Darling Daughter's obsession with this holiday. We probably have more Halloween decor than Christmas decor. They each have costumes that they embellish and improve on each year. Darby is even getting quite the reputation among friends and family for creative make up artistry. I keep thinking I will get into the spirit and start developing an alter ego of my own, but I have yet to catch the spooky bug. I guess I'll keep looking for a yellow hoodie sweatshirt and some overalls so I can be a Minion and carry my Dave Minion around with me.