Book Review...from 1963! The American Girl Book of Teen-Age Questions

Growing up, I always wanted to be more like my sister Gayla. She was thin and beautiful. Everyone seemed to really appreciate her shy and gentle nature. I was loud and clumsy and have always had issues with my weight (and my mouth). It wasn't until we were grown women that Gayla told me she had always envied my ability to make friends and put myself out there and that I loved to learn and read. I wish our self images had been at the forefront of society's watch-glass back in the 70's and 80's. Sister and I could have worked together to boost each other rather than secretly envy each other. We could have done as we did in her last years and built each other up and refused to let anyone mistreat or tear us down.

Since becoming a mother of a daughter in 2007, I have worried and fretted every day over the self-esteem of my Darling Daughter. Having come to her party when she was ten, I worried about ME being in charge of her teen years. My hubby dearest pointed out to me early on that the best way to do this was to love myself and let her see what a healthy self esteem looked like. I am still working on that, and DD helps to remind me whenever I venture off the approved path.

When I stumbled upon this little treasure in the infirmary of Camp High Point, I thought for sure it would give some laugh-out-loud humorous responses since it was Copyrighted 1963 and all. I was pleasantly surprised that the advice the American Girl Magazine provided was pretty spot-on for maintaining healthy self-esteems of the young women of the time (and for that matter for today).

I wish I had made notes on the book to include in this post. I wish that the Girl Scouts still produced a magazine for the girls (1917 to 1979 American Girl Magazine, not to be confused with the popular dolls of today). In my quest to find out what the Girl Scouts have going on for self-esteem now-a-days, I found the following program where GSUSA and Dove have partnered to bring self-esteem to our girls. You don't have to be a Girl Scout or even involved in the Girl Scouting to take part. If you work with girls (heck some of our boys could use some self-esteem as well!).

Please check out the facilitator information at http://www.girlscouts.org/uniquelyme/uniquely_me_guide_for_facilitators.asp.

See Dove's page at http://www.dove.us/Social-Mission/Self-Esteem-Toolkit-And-Resources/default.aspx.

UNIQUELY ME! TIPS FOR BUILDING SELF-ESTEEM

1. Celebrate you!
   Reward yourself when you have accomplished something! You don't need to wait for others to recognize what you've done.


2. Surround yourself with positive people.
   Spend time with people who are upbeat and feel good about themselves. They, in turn, will put a smile on your face and help you feel good about yourself.


3. Challenge yourself to try new things.
   Try a ropes course, learn some new dance steps, speak in front of a large group. Stepping outside of your comfort zone to try new things is a great way to grow.


4. Be good to your body.
   Exercising, eating well, and getting plenty of sleep will help you move toward a healthier you—inside and out!


5. Find and express the real you.
   No other person has the unique combination of qualities that you have! Be proud of yourself and be courageous enough to express your true feelings.


6. Have a positive mental attitude.
   A positive attitude is contagious! You'll feel good and people will want to hang out with you.


7. Learn from your experiences.
   Learn from your actions—both good and bad, and use the knowledge you gain to make positive decisions in the future.


8. Find the humor in everyday life.
   When you can see the funny side of things, you'll be less stressed and more likely to handle tough situations better.

GUEST BLOGGER--S is for Solace

MyMama, OURGayla, Sister/Daughter-inLawDana,
JamesIII and me, March 2010

A few weeks ago, my beloved mother guest blogged "H is for Happy Home" to help me with the Blogging from A to Z Challenge. This is the second piece I told you that she wrote for me at that time. Is it possible to burst with love and pride? Each tear I shed while fixing this up for her, was filled with so much love and so much pride. Welcome back to "Aunt J-Me Says So"....my hero, MYMAMA:

When my beautiful talented daughter (that's me!) made the offer of guest blogging I looked at her list of available letters and jotted down "happiness", "home", "religion", and "William". What I write about each of these my beautiful talented daughter (that's me again!) knows she may edit change or ignore and no offense will be taken (I WOULD NEVER MESS WITH GREATNESS...okay, I'll stop now). I have complete trust that my beautiful talented ex-English teacher of a daughter (sorry, one more time...that's me!) knows the limits of my education and would not want me embarrassed by said limits (I KNOW NOT OF WHAT SHE WRITES).   So having covered "happiness" and "home", I have moved on to where my solace has come from. In times of grief, solace comes in many forms. I parted ways with organized religion many years ago. However, when we lost our oldest child a year ago, religion showed its purest and most saving grace to me. A group of people whose only connection to my husband and me was that our son and daughter-in-law were members of their church, opened their doors for our dear Gayla's memorial service. Dennis and Debbie are not just a minister and his wife. They are people who came into a stranger's home, tried to give comfort and, in so doing, renewed for me the belief in the goodness of people in general. On the day of that memorial service, my daughter-in-law's aunts served food to a flood of people who came for the BBQ that our daughter-in-law's parents had furnished. They felt our pain and our children's pain and gave the solace of their service. We will never be able to express to these ladies and the church's ladies group, who furnished desserts, how they personified the love of their fellow man to a heartbroken family. Will-I-Am and JamesIII, March 2012 The solace that is William has come over the course of the first year of his life. The night he was born was three days after his Aunt Gayla's death. I spent part of that evening trimming 100 photographs of Gayla to be stuck to her memorial programs. William's great aunts eventually helped me finish that project. His very pregnant mother had helped me write the obituary and order the photographs. The solace of having such a wonderful woman as a daughter-in-law should not be left out of this story. She and my beloved son have allowed us to keep William and his big brother JamesIII for a couple of days a week. JamesIII was born to unadulterated joy more than three years ago. Happiness followed him into this world, and the night he was born, my only tears were joyful tears. There is a movie of me grabbing my son and crying those tears of joy for all the world to see. Also, there, just at the edge of that movie, is his dear Aunt Gayla, watching in the crowd.  DarlingDaughter and HerMemaw March 2012 As much joy as came with William, there also came sorrow that his Aunt Gayla would not be there to see him born. Now at one year of age, William is the one that brings my husband's smile. He may become the family dare devil. He cannot be convinced that just because he CAN climb up on low furniture that he will not be immune from falling off said furniture.  Solace comes from my family. Our grandchildren range from one year old to fifteen years old. That is quite a spread, but where the two littlest give solace through their innocence of the pain, Darby was not spared that pain. Her solace comes in shared acceptance of what cannot be changed. She has seen me distressed and stepped a little closer to give her solace. She may not even be aware she does it, but I am.

I Am Truly Blessed Beyond What I Deserve

As hard as I try to stay positive, I think I am always waiting for something to go wrong. I love when everything goes above and beyond my expectations though...it reminds me to have more faith in the world. This weekend was just about as close to perfect as we can get. Darling Daughter's first hockey game was a winner not only because her team whooped up on the other but because her entourage was extensive and full of team spirit. We all hollered for our girl and her team and made complete sillies out of ourselves. It was GREATNESS!

When we were leaving to head to her celebratory lunch, I asked DarbyGirl if she wanted to call Memaw and Papa to let them know she won. After she left them a voicemail and handed me my phone back, I said with the same enthusiasm, "Now let's call Aunt Gayla!" It's moments like those that rip the air right out of you (and make me wonder how young early Alzheimer's usually kicks in). Ever the wise child, Darby comforted me and said, "She already knows." That girl saves me every time from myself. I love her, love her, love her. We sent pics to her Uncle Bubba and Aunt Dana. You could tell DarbyGirl loved being everyone's winner by her giant smile and chit-chatty demeanor.

We spent the rest of the day DIY-ing for Sosie's wedding. It was so comforting and gave me great peace in my heart to have the Little Rascals and their little-uns at our house playing, laughing and just being together. It's when our house is full of friends and family that it really feels like home. We are blessed beyond measure.