GUEST BLOGGER--F is for Friend

Gayla (1972-2011)

If you are new to "Aunt J-Me Says So", then you probably don't know that this adventure in writing began last year with the sudden death of my beloved sister, Gayla. I completed last year's Blogging from A to Z Challenge while trying to assuage the heartache that was mine. This year, I want to move forward with my writing but know that there are certain letters in this challenge that will forever be just as they have always been. To bring something more to them, however, I have invited friends of my darling sister to guest blog.

SarahH. wrote today's "F is for Friend" for Gayla based off of the following poem by Brian A. "Drew" Chalker:

“A Reason, A Season, A Lifetime”

by Brian A. “Drew” Chalker

People come into your life for a reason, a
season, or a lifetime. When you figure out
which one it is, you will know what to do
for each person.

When someone is in your
life for a REASON…it is usually to meet
a need you have expressed.

They have come to assist you through a
difficulty, to provide you with guidance and
support, to aid you physically, emotionally,
or spiritually. They may seem like a Godsend,
and they are! They are there for the reason
you need them to be.

Then, without any wrong doing on your part,
or at an inconvenient time, this person will
say or do something to bring the relationship
to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they
walk away. Sometimes they act up and force
you to take a stand.

What we must realize is that our need has been
met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done.
The prayer you sent up has been answered.
And now it is time to move on.

When people come into your life for a SEASON…
it is because your turn has come to share, grow,
or learn. They bring you an experience of peace,
or make you laugh. They may teach you something
you have never done. They usually give you an
unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it! It is real!
But, only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons;
things you must build upon in order to have a solid
emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson,
love the person, and put what you have learned to use
in all other relationships and areas of your life.

It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

Sarah relates the poem to her friendship with Gayla:

When I was young I felt alone. That no one in the whole world must understand my struggles. Then something wonderful happened to me. As I got older, I found that there are many Friends in my life that I can relate to, confide in and tell my deepest darkest secrets to and that feeling of being alone slowly disappeared. Those Friends in my life remind me of this poem. They came into my life for a Reason, a Season or for a Lifetime. Each person in my life is no accident. The people I work with, the places I shop, the friends I have today and the friends who I am no longer in contact with, all have taught me a lesson along the way. I am not immune to the sadness that comes when one of these Friends is no longer in my life. And a lot of times I have to remind myself that I would have rather loved and lost than to never loved at all.

My Friend, Gayla came into my life for a "Season". I had recently graduated college and started my new big girl job. One of my mentors and good friends said, Hey you should be friends with Gayla, the other new girl. At first I didn't think too much about her comment. Then shortly after that a coworker asked what my vacation plans were. My reply was nothing. I stated that none of my friends or family could afford to take off work or go anywhere. He replied, "sounds like you need to get some new friends." This struck a cord with me and I thought of Gayla and reached out to her.

SarahH and Gayla...I think they went out and got tattoos right after this picture.

Gayla told me " You are my first friend in a long time that I met on my own and not through my sister LOL". She was so proud. This began a wonderful friendship. Together we went to many new places, took several airplane rides, car road trips and more than one ferry ride, which cannot be found in Texas! Gayla was instrumental in lightly pushing me beyond my comfort zone and she was very patient because I told her no at least once before giving in. I made more memories with Gayla in two years than most people make in a decade.

Gayla's departure from my life is a "Reason". As the poem says, people who come to your life for a reason "may seem like a godsend, and they are! Then without any wrongdoing on your part, or at an inconvenient time, this relationship comes to an end". Boy is that the truth! Gayla was very instrumental is supporting me to move to Houston to be with the love of my life. She was the only person who told me without an ounce of hesitation to Go For It. She assured me that she would come to visit all the time and even started planning my Bachelorette Party.

Six weeks after moving to Houston, Gayla left this world. I thought for little while, how was I going to make it without her. However, sometimes it feels like she set me up for her departure by making sure I was in Houston. I was not alone. I had my fiancee (now husband) to take her place. Gayla was the most giving person I have ever met and it just makes sense that she gave me away to Eric before she left.

She was an answer to my prayers for that Season and although I still don't like the Reason, not a day passes that I do not think of her and smile and say thank you for being my being my Lifetime Friend.

I Am Truly Blessed Beyond What I Deserve

As hard as I try to stay positive, I think I am always waiting for something to go wrong. I love when everything goes above and beyond my expectations though...it reminds me to have more faith in the world. This weekend was just about as close to perfect as we can get. Darling Daughter's first hockey game was a winner not only because her team whooped up on the other but because her entourage was extensive and full of team spirit. We all hollered for our girl and her team and made complete sillies out of ourselves. It was GREATNESS!

When we were leaving to head to her celebratory lunch, I asked DarbyGirl if she wanted to call Memaw and Papa to let them know she won. After she left them a voicemail and handed me my phone back, I said with the same enthusiasm, "Now let's call Aunt Gayla!" It's moments like those that rip the air right out of you (and make me wonder how young early Alzheimer's usually kicks in). Ever the wise child, Darby comforted me and said, "She already knows." That girl saves me every time from myself. I love her, love her, love her. We sent pics to her Uncle Bubba and Aunt Dana. You could tell DarbyGirl loved being everyone's winner by her giant smile and chit-chatty demeanor.

We spent the rest of the day DIY-ing for Sosie's wedding. It was so comforting and gave me great peace in my heart to have the Little Rascals and their little-uns at our house playing, laughing and just being together. It's when our house is full of friends and family that it really feels like home. We are blessed beyond measure.